The Real Founding Fathers

February 22, 2010 at 5:32pm

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Sir, one can not put a price on the air we breath, the ground we tread upon, our freedom is more than…wait, how much?

— New Benedict Arnold

5:31pm

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Give me liberty or give me death or let me go, your option.

— New Nathan Hale

February 12, 2010 at 11:24am

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As a man is said to have a right to his property, he may be equally said to have a property in his rights. However, you are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the sack buried under the house. You are not the horse you ride. You are not the contents of your saddlebags. You are not your damnable breeches. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

— The New James Madison

11:05am

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The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure, when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them.

— Patrick Henry

February 11, 2010 at 6:16pm

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Liberty, according to my metaphysics, is an intellectual quality, an attribute that belongs not to fate nor chance. Neither possesses it, neither is capable of it. There is nothing moral or immoral in the idea of it. The definition of it is a self-determining power in an intellectual agent. It implies thought and choice and power; it can elect between objects, indifferent in point of morality, neither morally good nor morally evil.

— John Adams

6:15pm

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The foundation of our Empire was not laid in the gloomy age of Ignorance and Superstition, but at an Epoch when the rights of mankind were better understood and more clearly defined, than at any former period.

— George Washington

6:12pm

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That’s not what your mother quoth to me last night.

— The New Alexander Hamilton in a letter to Aaron Burr

5:41pm

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AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!

— The New Alexander Hamilton, directly after the a disagreement with Aaron Burr

5:39pm

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Government, in my humble opinion, should be formed to secure and to enlarge the exercise of the natural rights of its members: and every government, which has not this in view, as its principal object is not a government of the legitimate kind.

— James Wilson

5:21pm

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Don’t keep waiting for me Beck, I died two hundred years ago. If I was alive I would break my slipper off in your hindquarter.

— The New George Washington

5:12pm

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And let all the inbred morons be pushed to the western part of the state, a land we will demarcate as ‘West Virginia’.

— The New George Washington

5:12pm

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The preservation of the sacred fire of liberty, and the destiny of the republican model of government, are justly considered deeply, perhaps as finally, staked on the experiment entrusted to the hands of the American people.

— George Washington

5:11pm

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There is an ampleness in the hindquarters which I find attractive.

— The New Thomas Jefferson

5:09pm

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Pull my finger

— The New Samuel Adams

5:09pm

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As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquillity, of Musselmen; and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

— Treaty of Tripoly, 1797, Signed by John Adams